Category Archives: Relationships

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Do something today. There is a difference that ONLY YOU can make. There is a song you alone must sing. There is a voice that only you have.

There is ALWAYS something you can do around you to make your world a better place.
TWEET THIS NOW!

Do these things.

Dream them.
See them.
Do them.

Then we can be sure of progress.

A Lovely weekend to all of you.

Some Thoughts on Relating Well With Others

Hello people!
Happy New Month wishes to you all. I hope your week has been splendid?

I was recently going through my stuff, when I stumbled upon something I had read several months back. Then I thought you guys deserve to know about it. These are key things we should bear in mind while we mingle.

Enjoy, and don’t forget to share with others:
1. Understand/identify your personal desires.
Self knowledge is essential if you hope to relate well to others. You have to know what you want so you know what you’re communicating (and expecting) from others. “Personal desires” applies to both the broad sweeping areas of your life, as well the smaller, more focused areas of your life. Here are some questions that might help you identify your desires:

General: What do I want most out of life?
Specific: How do I expect to be treated when I get home from school?

One way to get to this is to ask: “What offends me?”

2. Examine/evaluate your personal desires.
Here is the NECESSARY next step: is what you want something good, wise, pleasing to God…or is it selfish, wrong, potentially sinful? How do your desires/expectation stand-up to God’s standard? Are your desires in accordance with biblical teaching? Godly wisdom? Are your desires consistent with one another, or are some mutually exclusive?
 
One way to get to this is to ask: “Should this bother me?”
 

3. Make as many of the needed changes as possible.
This is where sanctification (growing closer to God and becoming more like Jesus) enters into the picture. God loves us for how we are, but he still wants to correct our errors . . . our selfish desires.
 
One way to get to this is to ask: “Am I willing to change in this area?”
 

4. Understand/identify the other person’s desires.
This requires careful observation, a great imagination, and a pure heart. Diligence in relationships considers the other person’s perspective. Ask personal questions, listen to the answers
 
One way to get to this is to ask:  “What do they want? What offends them?”
 

5. Respect the other person’s desires.
Respecting another’s wishes can be done actively or passively, both are important. Active living says, how can I meet the other’s needs? Passive living says, how can I keep from offending them?
 
One way to get to this is to commit to serving others like Christ.

6. Examine/evaluate your decisions, actions, thoughts, words, etc.
Refuse to live life on autopilot, consider DEEPLY the outcome of your actions.
 
One way to get to this is to ask:  “Have I offended the other person? What should I have done differently? What am I learning from this?”
 

7. Communicate your personal desires
When appropriate, let others know what you want. Appropriate can be defined with lots of different variables…

If you continually talk about your needs…..you’re obnoxious.
If your needs are ungodly…..keep them to yourself, and work on becoming more like Christ.
If you talk about your needs without respecting others…..people will avoid you.
If you communicate your needs without examining them…..you’ll send mixed messages.
If your need is obvious, and you continually remind others…..that’s lame.
If you NEVER communicate your needs…..you’ll remain distant from others.
 
One way to get to this is to say:  “This is how I feel. . .; This bothers me . . .”
 

8. Examine/evaluate the other person’s desires.
As you test your desires, test the desires of others too. God often teaches us through other people. And considering their wants can lead you to greater depths of wisdom. The horrible thing about this step (and the next one), is that typically we tend to over inflate the importance of judging others. IT’S SO MUCH EASIER to judge. But there is a gift to be sifted from the murky mud of judgment: more often than not, when you see something you “don’t like” in others, you probably have that same trait in your own life. Here is the jewel: now you have a new avenue for growth!
 
One way to get to this is to say: “Should they be offended by xyz? Maybe I do the same thing…”
 

9. Instruct/correct with gentleness…..when the time is right.
Christians are supposed to impact one another. Our community should be powerful enough to create life change. A good time for “confronting” others would take pages to fully describe, but here is a principle: Don’t waste your words, say something only if it has a chance of accomplishing something good.
 
One way to get to this is to say: “This is an unfair expectation. . .”
 

10. Forgive and Repent often.
People aren’t perfect. You aren’t perfect. You will hurt and be hurt. The only once of hope in the hurt/be hurt cycle is to forgive others, and ask for their forgiveness. This doesn’t really belong on this list, since it is titled, “Some Thoughts On Relating To Others,” because this isn’t just a nice idea, it’s a biblical mandate for all believers.
 
One way to get to this is to say: “I will not hold a grudge….I am sorry.”

I hope that these tips are useful in strengthening your relations with others. What other tips can you suggest? Please comment below.

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Lessons from Abigail’s Union

Bennard and Abigail Ugbeikwu

Bennard and Abigail Ugbeikwu

One major contributor to this blog, former Miss Abigail Nwachukwu, changed her family name over the weekend.

Yes, Abigail got married!!!

Now, I’m not here to share details of the apparently successful event, which happened on the 13th of December, 2014 (yesterday). No. But there is something I can’t hide from you: its lessons.

You can add these to the already heavy store of information, on how to make it (marriage) work, that you’ve gotten. Here they come. . .

1. TELL GOD.
Pathetically, there are more people who know this point than there are who use it. They pray over almost everything in their lives. Food. Water. Exams. Admissions. Jobs. Promotions. Contracts. Even matches of their favourite teams and characters in a movie . But when it comes to settling down, they put on their Mr ‘Fix it’ hats. Truth is that very few young fellows ever pray concerning their unknown spouse and the marriage.

I remember a night we had with Abby. She told us how young she was when she started praying for her husband. She very well had not met him before this time. Two things I noticed, or learnt, from her explaination about the decision to involve God was really worth knowing, or learning:

  • Telling God means you wait for His time!
  • You must trust Him enough to show up with your answers on time. You must also understand that “on time” in His eyes means “perfect” for you, and makes it very different from “on time” in your own eyes (Ps. 90:4; 2 Peter 3:8).

  • Telling God means you do it His way!
  • The ways of God are very different from the ways of men. You must seek to please God when searching for a life partner. Most ladies have lost their worth, sleeping around just to hook up with someone that will take them down the aisle. Note this: your marriage is in trouble if you enter his bed before entering his home. Every step along the way should be taken in God. And if God makes the choices, then dating ain’t an option. Because God is NEVER confused! He doesn’t test something to know it. If He says it, you can count on it.

    2. DON’T WAIT FOR GOD!
    Yes. Wait on Him. Get prepared. Work on yourself. Marriage will come, so, pursue your dreams while waiting.

    Abby was a writer and blogger before she got married. She was already hosting forums for singles here and there before she walked to the altar with Ben. Her ‘work’ had already gained online presence before she wedded. Read what she thinks about pursuing a dream, maybe you’ll understand me better.

    Don’t you think now will be a good time to further your education, break some bad habits and make new good ones, pursue purpose…instead of lusting after different boys/girls all in the name of looking for love?

    3. DON’T JUST WED; MARRY!
    So sorry to say this truth: this is mostly ‘girls problem’. They are so obsessed about having great wedding ceremonies that they forget about having great marriages! They go about shopping for this and that, spending money (which, apparently, they didn’t join to make) extravangantly.

    Abby’s traditional marriage ceremony happened! Her white wedding ceremony was a reality. It didn’t have to be a luxury. The smiles on her face, the joy in her husband’s heart and the care demonstrated by well-wishers, were all present…regardless of the fact that President Barack Obama didn’t show up! Neither of both marriage events were held in Dubai, or aboard an aircraft. Yet, they attracted true well-wishers indeed.

    I personally noticed her calm in all of this.

    No struggle to choke her husband to death over an Italian wedding dress. No hummer limousine ride to the venue. And I’m sure that this wonderful day in her life will not be on Linda Ikeji’s Blog. But it is in our hearts, and registered in heaven.

    These are the little but long lasting lessons I gained from Abby’s union. I pray that God favours her marriage and blesses them both.

    Stay up!
    …and HAPPY SUNDAY!!!

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    On the Altar of Friendship

    What art thou willing to sacrifice for thy friend?

    What art thou willing to sacrifice for thy friend?

    Really, what are they to you? The ones you call your friends. What do you give into that relationship? What is your quota?

    Friendship is love. It is understanding. It is concern. It is sacrifice. No relationship thrives outside sacrifice.

    Here’s my question:
    “What is the lamb?”

    What are we supposed to sacrifice? Sometimes people go the extra mile just to keep a relationship. Sometimes, they do this for the possibility of an “us” in the equation of their lives. But are they on track? Do they do the right thing?

    I’m NOT saying sacrifice is wrong. Am saying THEY SHOULD NOT SACRIFICE WRONGLY!!! Now, get me here. I am of the opinion that true friendship seeks long-term benefits, but for both parties.

    INSTANCE…
    You go to your friend with a dress you bought minutes ago. You ask them how you look in it. They give you a grin, smile and say, “That’s the best dress with the best fitting on the best person that I’ve seen today”. You happily thank them. And then, immediately you retreat to your dressing room, you literally receive a ‘mind-reading’ or ‘mind-listening’ spiritual gift. You begin to hear the thoughts of your friend very audibly in your head: “I wish I could tell her exactly how she looked in that dress”, “Ah! She’d rather look ‘most beautiful’ in that dress than look angry at me”. Tell me, would you think of them as a true friend?

    No, maybe.
    But is it their fault? What would happen if they told you the truth? Won’t they lose you? Are they even allowed to tell you the truth? What are the terms of their relationship with you?

    A lot of fake friendships exist in the world. You may see the longevity, the intimacy, but what you don’t see- and most often, won’t see- is the hypocrisy? They sit on it. They smile. But behind that smile resides one or more of these feelings: fear, regrets, remorse, ‘loving’ anger, sadness, doubt.

    What if your friend decides to be 100% honest with you? I thought you have it on your facebook profile that you detest liars? What if they corrected you again? Wouldn’t they be risking the relationship? What about the last time they sincerely told you what they feel? Didn’t you take it personal? Now they are afraid and hidden in their shells…never to correct their best friend again; never to say ‘no’ to you again (even if it would affect them personally); never to be themselves again! They have sacrificed their values for that friendship, deciding to turn their back on their conscience rather than on you.

    And so, now, a completely honest man has got to endure an environment of lies, because his friend would rather not be a friend than be honest! A lady who graciously corrects in love must now live with guilt. The guilt of going against her principles, her values.

    Ah! The things we do to keep a relationship! Selling out our values… Denouncing who we are… Coping with the substandard… Fiercely attacking and bruising our own consciences…

    I don’t know about you all, but I just made my choice:

    * I will only attract and keep what I already am!

    Yes, I will not sacrifice my conscience on the altar of friendship. Better to have a lonely walk to heaven than receive a standing ovation in hell! I will keep developing me. And hopefully- truthfully too- I will find someone ‘like’ me with whom to make this journey of life…because, indeed, LIKES ATTRACT!!!

    Blogger’s note: The above was copied from one of my notes on facebook. It is posted here with little additions.

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    Using Time

    time should be invested

    time should be invested

    Everything eventually stops working at one point in time or another… Something, however, doesn’t.

    TIME!!!

    Time cannot be stopped. Any attempt to pause or stop time is an attempt to disrupt life. Why? A wise man once hinted that time is the stuff life is made of! So, yes. You’ll not be wrong if you rename this article, “Using Life”!

    A lot, and enough too, has been said about the need for young fellows to be time conscious. With every second, ageing takes place. With every day, our graves draw closer (whether we want to hear it or not).

    There are, however, three ways people use their time. [This was told me by my father.] These would be explained to us here:

    1. SOME WASTE IT
    Beholding young folks who live as though there is no other life beyond this is no more a surprising sight. Sometimes you see certain things done by these ‘leaders’ of tomorrow so-called, and you begin to wonder, “leaders over who/what exactly?” Some of the achievements of these fellows include (but is not limited to): laziness, fornication, drunkenness, idleness, drug addiction, arrogance, stupidity… Some of this youths actually become consciously unaware of the fact that the clock never stops ticking. Anything goes for them. You find them living their lives, but at the mercy of chance. Among these are thieves (armed or not), prostitutes, smokers, drug addicts, cultists, thugs, playboys/playgirls, etc. Never try to correct them, or you get mocked at (and that is if heaven says you shouldn’t get beaten up physically). When they finally realise what’s going on, it’s already late. They then turn out to become: drivers, janitors, housemaids, baby sitters, truck pushers, hawkers, cleaners, messengers, etc, having their lives totally dependent on others or events.
    These ones only exist in life.

    2. SOME SPEND IT
    This set of folks go about their daily routine. Yes. That’s just about the only thing they know and do. They hunt after the ‘normal’ things of life. They come to a place and just join the race, without knowing what it is all about. This category of time-users do it the way others do it or think it should be done. Here’s their goals list:

    • go to school
    • read and pass exams
    • graduate
    • get a job
    • work your way up through the ranks
    • get married (for some, however, this comes before graduation)
    • get babies
    • train them

    …and the cycle continues. Although they become doctors, engineers, tailors, mechanics, teachers, lawyers, bankers,etc, they have little to show for their sweat. For them, life is only what happens between when they wake up and when they go back to bed. Nothing new. Nothing adventurous. Nothing daring.
    These ones only struggle with life.

    3. SOME INVEST IT
    “And of the children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do; the heads of them were two hundred; and all their brethren were at their commandment.”
    -1 Chronicles 12:32.

    See that, people! They ruled because they understood time. Understanding time teaches you what you “ought to do”, not what you want to do. Now that, is INVESTMENT! Fulfilment comes when you do what you should, not what you could. The people in this category NEVER have a ‘free time’. They rest when it’s time for it; not just because they want to. These people turn out to be: professors, chancellors, SANs, medical directors, CEOs, business owners, employers of labour, etc. They command results, and have the people in the other two categories working their heads off to bring these results.
    These ones don’t just live life; they thrive in it!

    Currently, you are living your life in one of the categories listed above. I don’t know which exactly. But I think that’s your question to answer. Ensure you check to be sure.

    Until we greet again, STAY GOD’s!!!

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    Life Is A Choice (Part 2)

    The first part of this piece was clear to state that the choices we make determine our lives. But how is that so?

    When we make a wrong choice in life, we change the whole set of options that comes next. Remember that in the first part of this piece, we agreed that life is a two-road junction, in which each of both roads carry in themselves many other two-road junctions. Now, let’s see an instance.

    When in high school, options were set before you:
    SCIENCE. ARTS. SECRETARIAL.

    Any choice you made determined the next array of options you could choose from. Now, let’s go further.

    If you selected a Science class, thou wouldest miss Accounting, Literature-in-English, History, Commerce and Government in thy next array of options.

    In a tertiary institution, the department of your choice determined what courses were elective and compulsory for you. The day you signed up for a particular field, ALL other options before you were re-arranged. This is because you must keep choosing, and immediately too.

    You cannot choose a smoker for a friend and still choose not to perceive the odour from cigarettes. It’s NOT possible. Because both options are NOT in the same column.

    Now, if we say that life is a choice; and if we agree that we keep choosing as long as we keep living, then our choices determine our lives [for they determine what we choose next].

    CHOICES ARE NON-REFUNDABLE
    Your right to choose is yours entirely. What you don’t get back is the choice you have already made. This is because the arrangement of options cannot be reversed! Why?

    Simple.

    Time is the stuff life is made of, and time itself cannot be reversed!

    So, nobody tampers with your right to choose again. But nobody gives you back a choice that has already been made. In life, you continue choosing but you NEVER get to re-choose! And so, we have the line: you can’t eat your cake and have it.

    DON’T LEAVE YOUR LIFE TO LIFE!!!
    Many of us are guilty of this.
    Some people just move around life as if it were a museum or a park; they are just here for sight-seeing. They live for others. These are the people who easily get heart-broken anytime they are disappointed by others.

    In the first part of this article (read it here), we observed that it is not possible to live without choices. We also upheld that not choosing is, indeed, a choice. This is because if you don’t choose, then you have chosen to be chosen for! Now, that is a disastrous choice to make.

    How?

    Anyone who chooses not has decided to allow life choose for them. When you refuse to choose [or select] from life’s offers (see Part 1), you get anything it (life) hands down to you. So, it is right if we develop this into a line thus:
    If you fail to choose something, you have succeeded in choosing ANYTHING!

    But why? Why would you leave your life at the mercy of life?

    Life comes with good and rude offers, lovely and ugly presents, the nice and the lies… Life unreservedly pours them down at you. But it doesn’t force you to accept any.

    Imagine all that heavy mixture of the sweet and the sour rain down on you, just because you refuse to choose. So, you must choose. At least, if you claim that you love your life. If truly you do, then don’t leave it to life!

    If you are not afraid to teach others, comment below and share with us how one choice (right/wrong) you made affected your life.

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    Life Is A Choice (Part 1)

    Everything you get is eventually what you wanted. In life, something always happens. Something always comes. But not everything that comes, stays! Why?

    You.

    You decide which stays and which do not. You decide whether or not to accept whatever life naturally brings your way. Every great man you ever heard of actually selected from life’s offers. They didn’t blame life for being cruel; they decided rather not to be affected by life’s cruelty.

    LIFE IS LIFE
    And no one can- not even you- can change it! Life just happens. It is natural. Life is NOT a one-way journey filled with only lots of goodies; it is a junction of 2 roads. And in each road, there abound many other two-road junctions.

    You cannot change the ‘life’ of life. You cannot alter its nature. Because anything that is divine, lasts. Life doesn’t- and will not- change for you or anybody else. Accepting life’s good is embracing its evil too. It’s like the case of a rose- you get the flower and the thorn. So, really, there’s nothing you can do about it.

    Oh, there’s one- live!

    TO LIVE IS CHOSEN
    Yes. We all choose to live. If you must live, you must choose to. Mere existence, however, is not a choice. People don’t choose to enter into this world, but they choose to continue in it. You’ve probably heard about the word ‘suicide’. The victims (or who-be victims) choose to end their lives, and then do it.

    Life is a choice. Hence, every gift (good or bad) of life brings with it a choice. Name it: marriage, spouse, career, business, faith, friends, and even enemies! At every point of our lives, we choose.

    I hear someone thinking, “But I didn’t choose to become this”. My question then is, “Did you choose to become that?”

    CHOICES MUST BE MADE
    In life, you must choose. Life (or living) is not possible without choice (or choosing). If you must live, then you must choose. The thing is, you cannot not choose. It is not possible not to choose. In life, it is not possible to be without choice. Okay, here is the bomb: In life, NOT CHOOSING IS A CHOICE!

    If you don’t choose, then you have chosen to be chosen for. And guess what? Life itself will do the choosing here.

    There are two categories of people walking the earth. The first category choose things- by themselves- for themselves. They always make choices. They know that they have to make choices. The second category choose things- not by themselves- for themselves. They let things, people or events choose for them. Their lives are affected by whatever happens around them.

    YOUR CHOICES DETERMINE YOUR LIFE
    Yes. That simple. Life hand you things; you choose which of them to accept; your selections determine what else happens in your life. In other words, what you choose today will determine what you will choose from tomorrow. Until you make the right choice today, there’s a strong possibility that you’ll never have the right options tomorrow.

    So, what are you going to do? If I were you, I’d decide to start choosing henceforth. Why? Because whatever you choose becomes your lot. It’s the greatest power God has given to every human: the Power of Choice.

    Whatever is happening in your life today is what you chose yesterday. Whatever happens in your life tomorrow will be a function of what you choose today.

    Choose. Choose now. Choose wisely.

    How do you think the choices we make affect our lives?
    Feel free to share your commments below.

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    Face it!!!

    “No! I can’t. I’ve tried severally, i just can’t.”
    Most people are victims of the above declaration. It’s responsible for the heap of shattered ideas and dreams around you. Most of us put off till tomorrow what we can finish today. I’m not talking about procastination, i’m talking about fear.

    This enemy is a dream-killer.

    First, it starts from the mind: you see the obstacle and begin to think it unbeatable. Big things they say, start small.

    Then, it grows into believing, because whatever you’ve not accepted, u can’t believe- acceptance came when u thought of it. Words are spirits and it’s the spiritual dat controls the physical. Now, the mind is abstract(not seen, so, easily connects to the spirit). Whatever you say comes from your mind. No matter how dull, everyone says only what he/she thinks, consciously or not. You thought that problem to be without solution, you accepted that “your fact”, so you’ll say it(kinda affirmation) almost always.
    Your mind now knows you can’t, so ur spirit will not give it support when it’s time to get things done.
    Your mind will now only present negative reports as regards that situation.

    Since you let it in, only you too can let it out.

    Start this way:

    • Always assure and reassure yourself you’re gonna do it(remember the lizard’s lesson).
    • Don’t just say it, try it! Face any problem(I call it ‘challenge’) with the aim of solving it. One thing worthy of note is, you’ll never get to a new level if you don’t defeat “The Boss” of your current level.
    • Talk to people. I always tell people that relationship matters. You may be soaked in a mess and someone next door has that answer. But just because you’re on your own,…
      Many people have gone through that hell you’re seeing for the first time; they might show you the way through or walk you through themselves only when you relate.
    • Get information. Yes, alot. Most especially those linking to your answers.
    • Use information. He who doesn’t use information is same as he who doesn’t have information. Put into practise the information you get from the internet, reading books, attending seminars and etc.
    • Pray. You’ve got to. There’re certain things you just don’t understand. You’ve kept all these rules yet you’re not seeing results, then you need to pray. Look, you need a mysterious approach to avoid a mysterious reproach. Prayers are spiritual and can repair anything spiritual. Don’t forget that the spiritual controls the physical.

    Please be serious in carrying out these. Remember that nothing will change until you do.

    Good luck.

    Steps to Blessedness

    “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” (Psalm 1:1).

    What is your view of a BLESSED man? How do you say this man is blessed and the other man is not? What is your definition of the line, “being blessed”? For very many of us, it means having money…you know, being in riches. Before I go further, let me chip this in:

    Prosperity is NOT exactly equal to Blessing!

    Now, let’s continue…

    What is “Being Blessed“?
    Being blessed is simply SUPERNATURALLY LIVING BEYOND YOUR NATURAL MEANS!

    Yes

    Some people work every week to get paid. Day in, day out… They just work. They zoom off very early in the mornings and land back home at nights. They work for money. If you become very rich by means of this, you are rich, not blessed!

    Some other guys, however, do not depend on their salaries. They work for the fun of it! They’d still be working long after you’ve stopped paying…yet they are NEVER hungry.

    Yeah.

    Right.

    That’s a BLESSED man!

    Quickly, these are the things you must know about being blessed:

  • Being blessed eases you of struggles
  • Being blessed erases worries. A blessed man is always relaxed!
  • You work for the blessing; it doesn’t fly to you
  • For a very good knowledge on how
    obedience can earn you a blessing, visit here!!!

    Or download the full pdf here:

    Obedience is Key!

    So, there.

    Let me quickly stress the BIGGEST truth about being blessed:

    IT AFFECTS OTHERS!!!

    Check it out:
    Gen. 13:5-6

    Now let’s look at the steps.
    I think the Bible gives us 5 progressive steps to blessedness! I have decided to call it the RADDS formula! If you check out the life of any man that is blessed of God, you’ll definitely see that he is no new student to the RADDS formula.

    What is RADDS?
    It is a combination of all the necessary ingredients in the ‘cooking’ of a BLESSED MAN! Not just a combination, but also in the right order.

    Now we shall be taking a look at all these steps, or should I say LAWS, of attaining the state of being blessed (divinely favoured).

    They are listed below:

    1. Refuse ungodly counsel
    2. You see, many folks today are where they are because of the wrong choices they’ve made. I do tell people that life is a choice. And so, all the things that life is made of are choices! Most people don’t agree with me there, anyway. But that’s aside.
      We all make choices. Some good, some bad. But we make them. Often after we’ve reaped the consequences of a right/wrong choice, our minds are forced to trace the source of that choice. For young fellows like us, about 60% (in my opinion) of choices are made because of someone said to make them. We (young folks) are mostly influenced by what people say or think about us. So, we kinda act to please others (regardless of how hard we try to deny it).

      Think:

      • When was the last time you went to a place uninvited?
      • When last did you wear a clothing because you liked it, and not because you wanted to impress someone or show off?
      • Haven’t you given up your hobbies before in the past, just because your friends were not comfortable with them?

      So you see, people influence us a great deal. Wether we are aware or not, we receive counsel from people.
      In 2 Sam. 13, the Bible spoke of a young man named Amnon. This man got an evil advice from his friend, and it did cost him his life!
      1 Kings 12:13-16 further tells us about the consequences of wrong advice.

      Be very careful where you get your advice from!

      Bad counsel comes from people. Right. But it can also come from things (events, circumstances, media, feelings, places, etc).

      Getting away from evil influences, however, still remains one of the almost-impossible things in the life of young people. Yes. Because of some benefit (which is temporal in most cases), some folks would rather they enjoy the rubbish they get from the wrong places. You know, that should-do-what-he/she-says-because-they-do-this-for-me kinda attitude. Well, don’t know about you but no matter the sacrifices there are to make, I’d never be foolish enough to trade my destiny for a temporal gain.

      If you must be a success, then you must shun bad counsel.

      Here’s how to:

      1. Stay away from evil company
      2. This is the best natural way of avoiding bad advice. The Bible warns that “evil communication corrupts good manners”. To be free from bad advice, you must be free from their source.

        • don’t associate with bad people
        • don’t go to bad places
        • don’t watch bad things
        • don’t listen to bad stories
        • don’t engage in bad conversations
      3. Seek God first
      4. Once faced with a challenge, seek the face of God before acting out a plan. Read the Scriptures. Pray. Find out the mind of God over every matter. God cares so much about you and will NOT lead you to the wrong places/people.

      5. Love yourself
      6. If you always remind yourself of how much you’re loved by you, you won’t be in a haste to make any kind of decision. If you value your future, you won’t be looking for answers in the wrong place.

      I pray, in the Name of JESUS CHRIST, every evil counsel over and against your life be destroyed by fire!!!

    3. Avoid hypocrisy
    4. “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”
      (James 1:8).

      “Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.”
      (Matthew 6:1).

      God will NOT bless a hypocrite!
      Yeah, that’s right. God is a blameless God. His ways are just and pure. EVERYTHING about God is just. He would NOT spoil that name for anything. In Matt. 5:16, Scriptures tell us that our light’s shine should be bring glory to God.

      God has not blessed you, if people can’t find HIM in your blessing

      For you to continue carrying- and potraying- that legacy of blamelessness on the earth, you MUST be proven to be blameless! According to Matt. 6:5, we already receive our reward [from men] anytime we work hypocritically. Focus on God alone!

      Hypocrisy is a deadly eater! Hypocrisy has swallowed up many in churches, ministries, marriages, relationships, businesses, etc.

      From a search I made on the internet, hypocrisy is the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform; pretense. So, hypocrisy is simply NOT BEING YOU!

      Jer. 48:10 tells us that, instead of a blessing, a curse follows whoever does God’s work deceitfully. What is your stand? Do you preach what you do, or are you just a movie star when it comes to your integrity.

      Remember: while people are busy judging your reputation, God looks at your integrity!
      Study: Mt. 23:13-15, 23-24; Mt. 7:3-5; Lk. 11:39; Isaiah 29:13-14; Mt. 15:7-9.

    5. Dodge bad company
    6. Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are!

      “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.”
      (1 Corinthians 15:33).

      People influence us daily. Most of the things we catch ourselves doing sometimes is a result of what we had copied (unconsciously) from those around us.

      Sit back and think; most of the things you have as habits now were probably picked from some childhood friends.

      What surrounds us is what is
      within us.

      -T.F. Hodge

      Hey, look around you, the people you see around you determines your destination. If you must be blessed, mingle ONLY with blessed people.

      See this again:
      “And Lot also, which went with Abram, had flocks, and herds, and tents.”
      (Genesis 13:5).

    7. Desire God’s Word
    8. Study it!

    Your Connection Determines Your Collection!!!

    Yeah, that’s right!
    Who is a friend anyway? Did I hear you mention ‘interest’ or ‘common’?
    You see? There’s this thing that holds you both. Without it, no relationship. Ever noticed that there is this behaviour you do carry, and sometimes you portray it unconsciously? The not-so-obvious fact is that since your friend behaves that way too, a kind of ‘sharing’ took place.
    Now, lets restate clearly that no relationship can thrive without that word ‘sharing’. Need I repeat to you that it is the major purpose of any union? In a relationship, no matter how unbalanced, ‘things’ are shared. Name them: advice, knowledge, company, feelings…even material things like money, properties,etc; then fame, reputation… We probably won’t get to the end of this article if we continue that list. Note that you ‘collect’ attributes from your associations, knowingly or not. It is not so popular but true that you(a non-smoker) can be friends with a smoker for very long time without even tasting tobacco. It is also not so popular but true that you can ‘collect’ his reputation as a smoker, or at least, share from it. Assumption could be the lowest level of wisdom, but even the wise assumes. Remember, “show me your friend, and I will tell…”, “a friend of a thief is…” Even when you don’t collect their character, you collect their reputation.
    Who are your friends? Who are those associations? Where do you go often? Yeah, someone is asking, “associations, go?” And I say yes! You associate when yo do as little as talk to someone. You definitely won’t go to a beer parlour to read; even the blind man knows about the library. In my country Nigeria, one could get malt drinks in a beer parlour. But the fact is, as long as you are sitting there, you are a drunk to all who pass by. Develop something out of that in your mind. Now, no matter how dull you are, everybody starts asking you mathematical questions once you’re spotted with Isaac Newton. Think about that too.
    Now you are there.
    But I am not saying, “shout ‘em off your back”. I am saying don’t ‘live’ with them. How? What if they come to you?
    ¤ Define your goals, then interests: If know where you’re headed, it will be easier to know what you’ll need. What kind of person are you? It is a result of where you are going. It is your goal that defines your interests. If you want to become a president, you don’t choose NOVELS over HISTORY! What do you want out of life? It will determine what you do and where you go to get it. Ponder about this; your friend(your mind) has more for you.
    ¤ Act on them: Now you know what you should be doing. It is ‘applied’ knowledge, not just knowledge, that is power! Once you start doing these things, your kind of friends will come to you. Plus on your way to get there(the goal you’ve set), you’ll be meeting with some ‘fellow travellers’.
    ¤ Don’t stray: Watch the places you visit. If you hate the sight of aquatic animals, don’t live in an island!
    ¤Pray: If God is your friend, ungodly people won’t be!
    These are just four points. But only to shallow minds. If you want the best out of these points, ‘PONDER’ is the key. Write down your thoughts, go over them REGULARLY, recite them together with the points by heart. Remember, what you have started saying, you most possibly will start doing.
    See you up there!